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People Networking Skills - Andy Lopata

Networking - Discussion between Michael Beale and Andy Lopata, October 2007.

Andy Lopata, former Managing Director of BRE Networking, one of the UK's largest referral focussed networking companies, has lived and breathed business-to-business networking for over seven years. He discusses what networking to him, where and when he networks and what he considers to be some of capabilities and beliefs of effective networkers.

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http://www.ppimk.com/nlp-podcast/andy.mp3 

Michael : Good morning Andy. Firstly I’d really like to thank you for taking part in this conversation. Can I ask you to start of by introducing yourself? Say a little bit about yourself, a little bit about what you do.  

Andy : Yes, absolutely. Good morning Michael. I’m Andy Lopata, I am a business networking strategist, which means that I work with large companies on how they can use networking tools to solve problems within their business. I’m also a director of an online-based referral focused networked which is just in the process of launching which is called Word of Mouse, and I’m involved with advising and supporting a number of other business networks.  

Previously I was managing director Business Referral Exchanging, which is a national referral focused network – and I’ve also written two books on networking including ‘And Death Came Third’ which came number two on Amazon. 

Michael : Excellent. What does networking actually mean to you? Can you give us a sort of definition? 

Andy : Absolutely. Can I answer that first of all, it’s going to sound terribly politician-like of me, by saying what networking isn’t.

There seems to be a misconception of networking as a group of desperate business men running around exchanging business cards and desperately thrusting contacts under each others noses. Alternatively other people see networking as a bit of the old school tile, a bit of a hand shake you make, and something really to steer clear of because it represents everything that’s wrong in business. Networking in fact is neither of the above.

For me networking is the process of sharing expertise, experiences, ideas, and resources with other people so that we can achieve more together than we could possibly do on our own. And exchanging business contacts is part of that, but for many people networking is as much about peer groups and support, mentoring, sharing ideas, not reinventing the wheel – as it is about getting sales. 

Michael : And where and when do you network?  

Andy : Well again, there are two side to that answer – you network potentially all the time. You have networking organisations where you can go to breakfast meetings, lunch meetings, dinner meetings, people have even spoken of a twenty four hour work-athon, where you don’t even have to go home – so there are plenty of opportunities for networking events. And with the growth of online business and social networks there’s even more opportunity to network 24-7. But that’s not networking per say, that’s merely people facilitating the process. You’re networking all of the time, whenever you speak to your neighbours and you find out what’s happening down the road, whenever you arrange for somebody else to pick up your children from the school run, you’re networking. 

I recently went over to Paris for the weekend, and with travel difficulties thirty of us were stranded – together we found out what was going on and together we managed to overcome the problem, that was networking. 

Michael : Being a little bit more specific – If I was a newbie networker, and I was going to my first meeting – what would you ask me to do? What would you ask me to pay attention to?  

Andy : Well the first thing I’d suggest is that you ask yourself why you’re going in the first place. Too many people go to networking events because someone has invited them, and said it would be a good idea. First thing is to work out what your goals are in business, what you’re trying to achieve. And then ask yourself ‘well how can networking help me achieve those goals?’ and then ‘which networking events are appropriate? And will help me do that?’ So go with a very fixed idea in mind of what you can achieve and why you’re going.

Michael : Can you give us an idea of what sort of objectives you might go for?  

Andy : Absolutely, the obvious one, and the prime one for most business people tends to be new business, and generating sales. Beyond that you’ve got peer group support which I’ve just mentioned and mentoring – improving inter-personal skills and presentation skills depending on the type of network. Improving confidence generally. You have finding suppliers, it’s amazing how few people think about that. We don’t want to go to Yellow Pages, or Google for our suppliers, if we can help it we’d rather be recommended. The wider your network, the easier that is to achieve. 

And also a very important one for a lot of people is raising their profile. We all know the phrase ‘it’s not what you know it’s who you know’ but it’s also important to remember it’s ‘who knows you’ so the more events you go to, the more people talk about you in a positive light, and remember that people are more inclined to talk about you in a negative then a positive light, so you have to do something to reverse that. The more you can do that the better.  

Michael : Talking that through, say you actually were looking for new business, and you went to a networking meeting – what sort of things do you want to do there to meet that objective, but without upsetting people?  

Andy : Ok, well the first thing I think, is making sure that you’ve selected the right event, and what the aim of that is.

So for example, I would split business networks into three main categories – and there’s a lot of overlap between these, but you can normally find the main reason.

Those are what I’d call Profile Building Networks, events like a chamber of commerce perhaps, online organisations like Ecademy where it’s about building up numbers. Events which are brain building, where there’s a speaker and you’ve gone to hear from the speaker –  for example, I’m a member of the Professional Speakers Organisation, that’s a network that’s there for self development, rather than just sales. Then you’ve got the referral focused networks, like the weekly breakfast meetings, like our new business Word-of-Mouse.  

So know which one you’re at. If you go to a profile building event – I was at one last night – you’re not going to run around and start jumping on people for business. What you can do is start building up relationships, start building up synergy, but if you see and opportunity, and it feels alright to do so – then do so! I was talking to a solicitor last night, and I was asking his advice on solicitors as potential customers of mine and he mentioned that his firm suffered from the sort of problems that my company could help deal with – where they have staff coming through that need to go out and generate new business and network, and they’re not confident walking into a room full of strangers, they talk to each other – and so I said at that point ‘well if I can be of any help to your firm let me know’ now that’s not pushing myself on anyone, the door was open and I’d be crazy to walk away from that. 

Michael : What skills have you got, or what experience have you had that’s enabled you to do this?

Andy : Ok, I think I was always naturally a connector. I was always connecting people, as far back as I can remember, a long time before I knew about networking. I was also always a volunteer or an organiser from school and college days, and university days, where I probably spent more time organising and volunteering then I did in lectures. So I had that natural tendency to give which is an important part of networking.

Skills I’ve had to develop are key listening skills, I do tend to – I suppose you could say I value my opinion. Sometimes you’ve got to let other people talk and listen for them, not to them – that’s something that I know I still have to work on because I always want to jump in when I think I know where they’re going, I always finish peoples sentences for them and that’s not a strength.  

So that’s what I know I need to work on, I think the basis was there, but that’s my natural tendency, but anyone with the will to listen, the will to take themselves out of the equation, and instead of asking ‘how is this relevant to me?’ ask how they can help other people with this introduction, with this information, whatever it may be. And develop the ability to be a good networker.  

Michael : When you network, what do you believe about yourself? Maybe you’re a good listener, maybe you have something to offer everybody, maybe you believe that everybody has a good story. What are some of the things that you actually believe about yourself as you network?

Andy : That’s an interesting question. What I believe about myself – I know that I can help people and I know I enjoy it, so I know I have this ability, if you like, to pick up on what someone’s saying and connect it in my mind with someone else in my network. So that helps me a lot when I’m listening to other people.

One of the weakest ideas in the whole of networking is this elevated pitch idea, when two people meet each other at the event. And one asks the other ‘what do you do?’ and waits patiently without listening until they can tell their version. And I know and I believe that I don’t do that. And I’m in a position where I’m more interested in listening to the other person.

I believe that I can build rapport with people and that I can engage with people. I think that’s an important part, because relationship building is a part of networking. I guess I also believe that my business is going well, I’m not in desperate need, in every event, to come away with a new contract, I can just go and enjoy myself and have fun – and that’s a very important attitude to have when you network. That you don’t come across as desperate, you don’t come across as pushy, you just enjoy yourself.  

Michael : Ok, I understand that. What do you believe about the people you’re networking with?  

Andy : I believe that the fact that they’ve gone their in the first place suggests that they’re open to conversation. One of the biggest fears that people have going into a networking event is the fear of rejection, and that fear of approaching strangers, I believe that everyone that’s gone along to that event has gone, not for solitude, because that would be a very bad choice, but to meet new people. And that’s a very important belief for me, because it gives me permission to go up and introduce myself to people. 

Michael : When you’re networking do you have a sort of personal mission or vision? Who is Andy when you’re networking, who are you?

Andy :  I’m the same person I am when I’m not networking, to be honest. I believe that you have to be yourself, you have to be genuine, and you have to act coherently with yourself and your beliefs. In terms of vision, I know what I want to achieve in business, I know a lot of connections that I’m looking for, and the sort of opportunities I’m looking for, so that if an opportunity arises I can recognise it.

Michael : And a bit of mischievous question, but how do you know you’re good at this? 

Andy : Other people tell me, which is a good way. I look at the results that I get from networking. I’m not always good at it. I was at an event earlier this week, and I was appalling at it. Because I wasn’t in the right frame of mind for it, so I’m not always good at it, but people do often comment on how confident I look in a networking event. People do want to stay in touch, they do follow me up, which is an important measure. But I won’t win everyone over, no-one will, and I won’t get everything I want from networking but I am fairly comfortable in the environment. 

Michael : You brought up the point about being in the right state for networking, what do you think the right state for networking is?

Andy : Knowing why you’re there, being focused, being in the room. Being in the room means that you’re mind is not elsewhere, it’s not enough to just be physically in the room, you have to be there mentally. You have to be focused on what you want to achieve, while you’re at that event, and then give everything to the people that you’re speaking to.

When I went on this event on Wednesday, I was absolutely shattered – I had to rush there because I had been to something before hand, and I hadn’t taken the time to remind myself of why I was going. And I just never got my head back around it, still got a couple of very good connections but I know that I could have created a stronger impression. I know that I missed a couple of connections because I didn’t hang on the conversations in the way that I would want to because I wasn’t in the room. I was tired, I was unfocused.  

Michael : Now, before I ask you to give your contact details, is there anything else that you’d like to add that we’ve left out, or maybe haven’t talked about – is there anything that you’d like to add or reinforce about networking?

Andy : Well there’s a whole range of things that people need to bare in mind, and they need to know about networking, but I think the most important one is where we started off, and that’s to know why you’re there, why you’re doing it.

A lot of people will spend time and money on developing a marketing strategy or a technology strategy or a business plan, but few people put a networking strategy into place, and I think that’s the most important thing. So if you’ve joined a networking group and the end result for you needs to be sales, put a figure on it, know what successful looks like, and then work towards it.

And similarly if the results you want are less tangible then that, things like ‘enhance confidence’ ‘peer support’ ‘mentoring’ ‘supply side’ if you can’t set a target set steps that you need to take to do to get to the end goal. And know how to measure how you’re going with it. 

Michael : Now, I wasn’t going to ask this question, but I will now because of what you’ve just said. Do you actually help people set their networking strategies? 

Andy : Absolutely. Yes, it’s a core part of what I do with the network strategy business. And we work from the start in terms of what you want to achieve. To put networking to one side for the beginning and say ‘well what are your goals in business and in life?’ and then you see how networking can help you achieve them.  

Michael : Excellent. Can you give your contact details, so that anybody can choose to can contact you?  

Andy : Absolutely. You can read my blog, on www.lopata.co.uk my email address is andy@lopata.co.uk and anybody that’s interested in Word-of-Mouse can visit the website at www.wordofmousenetwork.com  

Michael : Thank you very much. 

Andy :  Pleasure, thank you Michael.